We all know that feeling—a knot in your stomach, a gnawing unease that disrupts sleep, sparks irritability, and clouds your mind with worry. Maybe it stems from a troubled relationship, financial strain, looming job insecurity, or even health concerns.
Anthony J. D’Angelo offered a truth we often forget, "Listen to your intuition. It will tell you everything you need to know." This wisdom resonates deep within us all, especially during the gut-wrenching turmoil of a shaky economy, challenging relationships, health concerns or a difficult business decision. These situations cast a long shadow, stretching across our careers, health, finances, and personal lives, impacting loved ones and even our neighbors and communities.
Talk about wreaking havoc on the pit of our stomachs.
What Actually Causes this "Pit" Feeling?
Obviously, our churning stomachs aren't causing the chaos in our lives; however, they may multiply our chaos, stress and anxiety. But our feelings aren't the cause either—they're a consequence—an effect produced as a reaction to situations and or circumstances that feel outside of our control, where the desired outcome seems predetermined. Perhaps this is caused from self-centered fear (defined as the fear of losing something we have or not getting something we want). This lack of clarity and certainty in each moment in the face of these situations and circumstances may trigger a stress response in our bodies, manifesting as that familiar knot in our gut. That ''pit-in-your-stomach'' feeling is a warning sign—your intuition at work.
So how do you dissolve or resolve the root cause of ''the pit''? Start by letting it be easy—listen to your gut and use this red flag to your advantage instead of becoming victim to it, be proactive, and become part of the cause instead of falling victim to the effect.
Be Ready to Recognize the "Pit"
Take a moment and think of a time when you distinctly remember having that ''pit'' feeling. What was happening? What circumstance were you dealing with?
Now, ask yourself, were you being part of the cause or just reeling in the effect?
Likely, you answered, ''effect,'' and if you did, it means you've been there before, and you'll better recognize when it's happening again. Our natural reaction is to go into fight, flight, or freeze mode, instead of creating awareness to heal and move through this pit feeling.
The key is to remember that anytime you feel this type of "pit" anxiety is to start with this awareness in order to help you move from focusing on the effect to focusing on the cause.
Become Part of the Cause
So how do we move from effect to cause?
Consider this example...
Let’s say your income has been reduced to the level you can't continue saving, investing or purchasing the way you have in the past. How would you feel inside? Angry? Scared? Nervous? Disoriented? Maybe a few or all of those?
What are the cause and effect in this situation?
- cause = less income.
- effect = anger, fear, anxiety, and disorientation.
Now, how would you feel about putting a budget in place, reducing your expenses or creating a plan for other sources of income? While it might not solve everything, it would likely make you feel better by putting your mind at ease to some degree, right? That's because when you gain clarity and certainty by taking action like this, you become part of the cause vs effect. The key is starting with awareness, move from effect to cause, then create clarity and certainty about the things that are within your control.
5 Simple Steps to Conquer the "Pit"
The next time you sense that feeling coming on, this simple five step process can help you conquer the pit.
Step 1: State your desired outcome.
What do you truly want to feel in this situation? Is it confidence before a big presentation? Security in your job? Peace in your relationship? Get specific.Step 2: Write down what you are currently doing to deserve this outcome. Ask yourself how you are being the cause.
Step 3: What could you replace from what you are currently doing that would lead you to be more deserving of this outcome?
Be honest with yourself! Which aspects of your life are within your control? Perhaps you’ve been denying or ignoring these aspects of your life previously. Maybe going into flight, fright, or freeze as an auto-protective reaction?
Use the cues listed below to identify some areas that may be causing that pit feeling, and then re-focus on what's within your control. The key is to come up with lots of ideas—a list of potential actions of what could happen next.
- Identify negative habits. Are you constantly putting off important tasks? Do you frequently criticize yourself or engage in self-defeating thoughts?
- Evaluate your relationships. Are there people in your life who drain your energy or bring you down? Do you spend too much time alone, avoiding social interactions?
- Assess your environment. Is your space often messy or disorganized, causing you stress? Do you have elements in your environment that frequently interrupt your focus?
- Think about what you do with your time. Are you spending a lot of time on activities that don’t contribute to your goals? Are you often engaged in activities that don’t enrich your life, like excessive TV watching?
- Be mindful of your health. Are you consuming foods that negatively impact your health and energy levels? Are you leading a lifestyle with little to no physical activity?
- Identify your mindset. Do you often focus on what you lack rather than what you have? Are you afraid to take risks because you fear failing?
- Reconsider your definition of success. Do you frequently compare yourself to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy? Are you striving for perfection, causing unnecessary stress and hindering progress?
- Be discerning about your goals. Are your goals vague or unrealistic, making them hard to achieve? Are you primarily seeking approval from others rather than setting goals that align with your values?
Step 4: What more could you be doing to feel more deserving of this desired outcome?
The goal here is to identify additional actions or behaviors that can increase your sense of deservingness and bring you closer to your goals. Think about new activities, habits, and practices you can incorporate into your life to enhance your efforts. For example:
- Increasing effort and commitment.
- Expanding knowledge and skills.
- Enhancing your mindset through mindfulness or positive affirmations.
- Improving health and well-being with better nutrition and exercise.
- Contributing to others through volunteering or mentoring.
- Setting and reviewing goals regularly.
- Seeking feedback and making adjustments.
- Practicing gratitude.
- Building a supportive network.
- Taking calculated risks to push your boundaries.
Step 5: Based on the list above, what are you going to do now?
This is where you take control and become the architect of your experience. Remember to stop dealing with the effects and focus on the cause.
Remember! We are created in God’s image to create.
Create a concrete Action Plan based on your answers. Here are just a few examples of how you might go about doing that:
- If you're a procrastinator, your Action Plan might start with identifying the tasks you frequently procrastinate on, then breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps, and setting specific deadlines for each step and using a planner or digital app to schedule these tasks.
- If you've identified the presence of toxic relationships, your Action Plan might start with listing the individuals in your life who negatively impact your well-being, then gradually limiting your interactions, setting clear boundaries and communicating your needs assertively, while seeking out positive, supportive relationships.
- If you're a victim of clutter, your Action Plan may see you dedicate time each week to declutter one area of your home or workspace, create a system for organizing your belongings and establish a routine to maintain order, and donate or discard items you no longer need.
Be the Cause of Your Desired Outcome
We've all heard the saying, "Life is a journey, not a destination." And it's true!
- What if you let it be easy and started enjoying the ride?
- What if you created your own map with confidence and certainty?
- What would happen if you became part of the solution to achieve your desired outcome?
The bottom line is you are acting or feeling “in the effect.”
Progress over perfection may serve you well. So get out there intent to enjoy the ride, create your own map, and be the cause of your desired outcome!
Put the Power of ProAdvisorCoach to Work for You
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What drives your behaviors? What will it take to achieve the success you desire? Take the MindScan™ Assessment for Free and receive a complimentary coaching session to review the results (a $500 value)!
Rich Campe is the Founder/CEO of ProAdvisorCoach. He has been consulting and coaching for 33 years. He is certified in Neuro Associative Conditioning, Nobel Prize Nominated Dr. Hartman’s MindScan™ and Gamification with ProAdvisorDrivers. In the past three decades, he has worked with over ten thousand individuals and over two thousand corporations and businesses including RedHat, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, Equitable, Berkshire Hathaway, Keller Williams, Re/max, Northwestern Mutual, Novant Health and many more. Rich combines a high level of expertise from extensive training and experience with a very engaging and interactive style.
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