In the first of a three-part series on "Self," ProAdvisorCoach Will Simpson explores his journey to separating his identity from his career, highlighting the struggle to find purpose beyond professional achievements and the importance of defining oneself before pursuing career goals.
As I enter my 6th decade of wandering around on this third rock from the Sun, I am starting to become more reflective. I am asking the harder questions of myself and, in fact, of others.
I have had a career of being an executive and I have enjoyed it—thoroughly. It has defined me in many ways. I have been MY CAREER. Until I was not.
In 2018 I was about two years into being the COO of a staffing and recruiting company. I was well compensated and held the reins of running the day-to-day business. It was in a new area for me, leading a services company presents new and different challenges than running a product company.
On paper, it was Awesome.
So... why was I bored?
Where was the "meaning" or "purpose" I used to get from such a challenge?
When these thoughts first crossed my mind, I just dismissed them. It felt as if I was challenging the very core of who I was and who I had been.
So, I did what I do in these moments and started talking to my mentors and coaches. These questions were not going away. Even with my high sense of self-accountability, I could feel that it was likely that I might just start “mailing it in”
To recap what I heard... "I had climbed the mountain." I had grown from a geek with his fingers on the keyboard to executive. To continue the metaphor, climbing a different mountain just did not hold the appeal it once had. I needed to define ME, not my career. For the first time in my life I started to really separate the two. Working on ME was my next challenge.
So, with full irony I dove into consulting.
My wife had made the leap three years earlier when we formed Ten Eleven Twelve (named for our first date—October 11, 2012). She became what's now called a Fractional Executive Admin, serving multiple executives across multiple companies. I would use a similar model, working on retainer as a fractional Executive.
I did the usual, hitting up my network. As expected, I landed clients. I was now a Consultant.
Uh-oh. That very statement is the problem. I am now... well... a different career.
I did continue to try and find time to do things that I had always wanted to do. I wrote and published a fiction novel that I had been talking about for years. It was so much fun and, for a time, I was thrilled with this "new version" of me. Yes, I was still a consultant, and networking, and doing all the things we do to find leads.
It was at one of these very events that the notion that I really wasn't "getting it" hit me.
A friend at the event said, "Hey, stop introducing yourself as a Fractional COO. You are a published Author now." My immediate reaction was, "Oh! This is cool! Better lead gen!"
What I know now is that this was not really working on ME. It was just a different career that I was using to define me. I had just found a new career and let that become my identity.
Honestly, I was still bored and my work did not have the meaning I was looking for.
I had failed to follow the advice that I give so often when coaching my clients (always part of being an executive at any stage), "Start with WHY."
Whew! "WHY" is HARD WORK!
As I dug in I started to look back at what brought me joy. I re-read Daniel Pink’s Drive and landed on AMP—Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose. I was missing "Purpose."
Over the next two years, I kept looking for my Purpose at work but, as I said, this is hard, and it was not immediately forthcoming.
By chance, a friend of mine asked if I was interested in joining an advisory, coaching, and consulting company. He said they had a great team and that they worked together to serve people. I liked the sound of it and I knew that one of the things I had been missing was working with a team. So I met with the folks on the team and immediately engaged.
I had no idea that this would be the place I would find my WHY.
One of the things that this group does is offer our services to our other team members. With this, I now had my own coach who would help me with my various obstacles and fears, someone who would ask ME the hard questions and hold me accountable to not just “mail in” the answers.
As I write this, I am still looking to improve and define myself first, then lean into a career that will serve my WHY.
I want to help people. That's it. That is my Why.
As I continue to work with my coach, I am becoming a better coach for others.
Once that very hard breakthrough came into clear sight, I began to reflect back on my career. It had always been there. As I grew from individual contributor to leader, the thing I had enjoyed the most was working with folks and helping them be the best version of themselves.
As I move deeper into my new ME, I can take my purpose—my WHY-and use it to achieve a higher level of Mastery.
WHY should drive our career, not the other way around.
It should be the Objective, not the Key Result. (I can’t help it; operations brains still think in OKRs.)
- What are you doing to work on YOU?
- Do you know your WHY?
- Is it real?
If my current self could go back and tell my younger self just one thing, it just might be, “Hey, Will, get yourself a formal coach and work on your WHY.”
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About Coach Will Simpson
His approach is grounded in empathy, recognizing that the fear of change is a very real concern for many executives. Will believes that mastering the uncertainties of change can be transformative, and he is passionate about guiding leaders through this process.
Throughout his corporate career, Will has seamlessly blended leadership and coaching, recognizing the inherent connection between the two. He is adept at helping executives cultivate the mindset and skills needed to drive their organizations forward, even in the face of complex challenges.
As an executive coach and consultant, Will offers a comprehensive suite of services tailored to the unique needs of corporate leaders.
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